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go here
take your time with the README.
clone/download the contrib repo
add the path to it to your cmake settings of the main opencv repo.
rebuild your main opencv repo as you did before, starting with cmake.
make install will copy all headers/libs/so's to the folder you specified by CMAKE_INSTALL_PREFIX
include "opencv2/face.hpp" instead of the old contrib headers, link to opencv_face instead of opencv_contrib